When you and your spouse decide you need couples therapy, here are some suggestions that can help you find the right couples therapist for you, by providing you with professionals to choose from.
Ultimately, the ideal way to come in contact with a great therapist is through a personal recommendation, either from a friend, family member, or colleague. Logic tells you that if someone you know well insists that a certain therapist helped salvage their marriage from the wreckage, then that therapist in all likelihood will be top-notch.
Another excellent person to go to is your primary care doctor. It’s not uncommon at all for physicians to recommend therapy for patients whose marriage is in trouble. Since they’ve probably done this many times before, just ask and they will recommend a couples therapist to you.
In case you are using your medical insurance so that you can afford to pay for visits to a therapist, you may find yourself confined to using a list of certain therapists. Well, just bring the list with you on your visit to your doctor and show it to them. They may be familiar with a few of the therapists on the list.
You should also do your Internet research and look online for couples therapists that are located near you. Then see what online reviews say about them.
Ask How Long Should You Undergo A Couples Therapy
While the mention of couples therapy can sound quite radical, the truth of the matter is that attending sessions for couples counseling can be an excellent step forward in a marriage that has been experiencing problems.
If you and your spouse agree to go to couples therapy sessions, don’t expect that your problems will be solved overnight as if by magic. It took a long time for the relationship to erode to where you were driven to seek help, it’s going to take a while to resolve things so that the marriage can continue in a healthier, happier way. Your therapist has to work on getting both of you to be honest about what issues you have with the relationship, be open to expressing what’s missing, and willing to listen to criticism.
The exact amount of sessions that will be required to accomplish this cannot immediately be foretold. It depends on the couple and their willingness to cooperate, and on the approach, the therapist decides to take to help them. A rough guess would say that you can expect the duration of therapy to take anywhere from 12-30 hours. If the couple agrees to see the therapist for 1 hour a week, which is usual, what that boils down to is that it can take more than 6 months for a couple to reach the point where they feel they can consider ending therapy.
The Advantages Of Taking A Marriage Counselling
Many times couples learn with the help of an experienced, professional therapist how to stop negative patterns in the relationship. It’s a therapist’s job to recognize those patterns and help the couple to change them and be more constructive in their dealings with each other. One more issue is that often couples will manage to stop doing fresh damage to their relationship, but haven’t yet healed the old damage. Someone who is an outsider can better spot this situation and point it out to them so that they can work on it.
And ultimately, a good therapist, acting professionally, can help a couple determine whether or not they can fix their marriage and stay together. It is not a therapist’s role to make that decision for the couple, merely to steer them in the right direction so that they can see where they’ve been and where they are heading, and make that decision for themselves.